Tuesday, August 31, 2004

My god...the DMV is the world's armpit...

Yeah, I know it was my fault that I didn't renew my tags in time to do it through the mail. I accept that. So...today...August 31st...I had to go and renew them. Now, they expired today, along with everyone else that has M or N as the first letter in their last name. So I show up 15 minutes early to the DMV and what do I find? About 65 people, in line, on the SIDEWALK outside the DMV. Just my luck. So I decide to hunker down and just watch the stupidity unfold before me. I was not disappointed. In Kansas, they have this little machine right when you walk in where you push a button for renewals or push another button for titleing a new vehicle. Now, you wouldn't think this would be a hard process. You'd be amazed and the bottleneck that this little machine causes. Its intentions are good and it really does a good job of sorting the people to where they need to go, but watching these people stand in front of this machine with TWO buttons on it is just amazing to me. Here is how these beautiful exchanges between man and machine usually go: Man/Woman walks up to machine. Views the two options: Title or Renewal. Each has a button. M/W looks up at the sign above the machine at what each option means. Title: Register a new vehicle, Renewal: Renew the registration of a vehicle you currently own. Now...this is pretty cut and dry. I've had to do both so maybe I am a veteran and I shouldn't be laughing at these rookies, but I can't imagine this is the first time they have gone to the DMV. When you push Title, it prints out a numbered ticket. You take the ticket, and then they call you up to the first desk to make sure that you have all the correct paperwork to title a new vehicle. If you press renewal, you just wait until your number is called to go to an operator's desk to go through the 30 second process of renewing your registration. Here's where the fun part starts. Some people get so confused by the two button machine that they go straight to the first desk. Well...he is calling people who have numbers already so this person has to cut in line just to ask the guy which button he should push. Once they get it all squared away the person sits down and I am sure when his number is called...he probably doesn't have the paperwork he needs. It's a beautiful cycle. Now...this process is entertaining enough to me. Now, I could go to the mall and sit in the middle and just watch the people all day, so going to the DMV isn't bad for me. It's somewhat similar to going to a county fair. You see it all at the DMV. Well once my number was called...I had to go to the desk, hand them my paperwork, pay them $300 for a year of property tax (yeah, that makes sense) and then go to work...late. It's a sick and twisted cycle...but I guess you have to do it. Maybe I was just paying the $300 for the people watching experience...in which case...it might have been worth it.

Monday, August 30, 2004

Ahh....what an interesting weekend.

Do you ever have one of those weekends where you really don't know what the hell you're gonna do until about 20 minutes before you do it. This weekend was kinda like that for me. After last weekend (the wedding) it wasn't such a big deal to me if I didn't do anything at all this weekend. I didn't have any plans for Friday but Saturday I had a friend that was having a party so I needed to make my way to Lawrence. I had some friends from work that were going to go with me to Lawrence...but of course...at 7:30...they call and cancel. So then the real questioning begins. Do I go to the party, where I will know one person, by myself? Some people might...I, on the other hand, would NOT do that. So, I start to think of my options. My brother already had plans so that was out. So I call trusty Tom. Of course Tom is up for it. I actually caught him on a night where he didn't already have plans, which is rare, so that was a good sign. So, after getting caught up in the USC - Va. Tech football game, I end up in Lawrence at about 10:45. Tom was already at Justin's house so we sat over there until about 12:30 until we'd had a couple of beers and we were on our way to playing spin the bottle at Shannon's house. We went to Shannon's house for about 30 minutes and then went on another search for alcohol because we were out of it. Obviously, this late at night, that wasn't going to be easy. Justin came through though and we made it back to his house. Now this is where it gets interesting...I promise. We start talking about the old days of Oliver Hall and our college years, which is normal. Of course, by now it's about 3 in the morning and we're drunk...and there are no signs of stopping. Then...it happens. It's inevitable this time of year, that the conversation turns to politics. Now...anyone who knows me knows that there are two things that I HATE talking about, Politics...and Religion. So I get worked into this conversation at 3:30 in the morning. So...for two hours...I tried to explain my position on which presidential candidate I am going to vote for. It's like someone trying to explain a point about religion when they have never read a bible or any other religious text. It's similar to working on a car with no knowledge of them. You can do enough to damage the car, that's about it. So I stumble around for about an hour trying to make a point about why I am voting for one person over the other and I am using my limited political knowledge and vocabulary to do so. So you can imagine what that was like. Well...eventually I got to leave. This was after listening to Tom talk about his political stance. He had been chomping at the bit for the last hour because Justin wouldn't let him talk until I was done. It was quite amusing to see what came out of his mouth after he had been bottled up for so long. So, as you can tell, I didn't get home until about 6:15 in the morning, because I had to drive back to KC. I don't remember much of the drive...and that isn't good. Oh well, I made it...and I am sure I am only about 3 days away from being fully recovered from it...

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Now this is the August I know and love...

Well...I don't love it I guess. The August I know is hot...steamy...and full of thunderstorms and tornado warnings. You walk out of your house in the morning and you're immediately sweating because it is 75 degrees and about 95% humidity. We haven't had much of that this summer but it's here now. It's a good thing it wasn't like this for the wedding last weekend because it would've made it unbearable. Now we get to watch the news interrupt TV every night to tell us that there is a tornado warning and that people in manufactured homes should find another place to stay. Ah...Kansas. What a beautiful thing...

Monday, August 23, 2004

Someone tell me which is better?

Okay, well I have been single for quite a while now. I know that most of you know that. Honestly, it doesn't really bother me. I don't really need another person in my life right now especially when I don't have all that much money or time. See, these are the types of reasons that someone comes up with when they have been single for a while. Most of my friends are in serious relationships and are very happy. As everyone who has been single for an extended period knows...every few weeks you change your mind about things. Sometimes I think...hell with women...I am perfectly fine by myself...and I really am. Then sometimes you start to lean the other way but that usually ends when I hang out with one of my married friends and hear about how "wonderful" things are with them. It's usually the same friend who changes my mind on these things. Then of course...you end up meeting someone who really gives you that feeling. Now I know that this is rarely a mutual feeling. There is always one party in the relationship who has stronger feelings for the other one. It's inevitable. But when you do meet that person, it throws everything out of alignment. In my case, I knew it wouldn't be a good idea to pursue this person for many reasons. The main one being location. You can't exactly be with someone who lives over a thousand miles from you, it just won't work. So...the best plan of attack is to not let yourself get pulled in right? Now...how many of you can actually do that. Meet someone who you are interested in, but just make yourself not pursue them for obvious reasons, as stated above. Maybe it was the fact that I have been single for so long, and I just don't pass up an opportunity. Anyway...so on Friday...I was just a normal single guy who had used all the normal excuses like "I just don't want to put up with dating right now"...and now...I can't stop thinking about this person. Even knowing she chose someone else over me...it doesn't matter. I know it should...but it doesn't. And maybe the fact that it happened that way and she's not here for anything to really happen...I can just tell myself in my head that it might have actually happened. In my case...believe me...it rarely happens like I think it will. Honestly though, on a weekend where everyone that matters in my life was there...I met someone else that I really hoped would maybe become part of that. I know that things have a weird way of working themselves out...and I hope this does too. It definitely changes the way my day goes now. I used to have nothing interesting to think about...and I actually paid attention at work...and now...well...I have lots of other thoughts racing through my head...

At last...The Wedding

Well everyone who reads this knows that Jimmy and Kate's wedding was this weekend. Everyone was looking forward to it for one reason or another. Everyone was going to be in town for this beautiful occasion so sleep took a back seat and there would be much rejoicing and revelry...okay. The wedding itself went off without a hitch until I, that's right...the one who never makes mistakes, went ahead of the best man and Maid of Honor when we walked back down the aisle after the wedding was finished. There are many different ideas on how it happened...so we're not going to keep talking about it. After driving around taking pictures for about 3 hours after the wedding, and having a few drinks along the way, we made our way to the reception. This is the part with the rejoicing and revelry that I spoke of before. Picture this...roommates and friends who haven't all been together in years, open bar, 4 and a half hours, and a frozen jayhawk. That's right...rejoicing and revelry, it was inevitable. Now, mind you, Tom and I had been out the night before until 3:30 in the morning visiting some friends and we had woken up at about 7:45 on wedding day (not on purpose). There wasn't any drama that I can remember, but there is probably a lot that I don't remember. All in all, a great weekend. I met a girl that makes me remember what I had been missing being single for so long, I got a chance to be in the wedding of two friends that I have the utmost love and respect for, and I had the chance to see everyone that matters in my life all in one room at the same time. Now how often do all of those things happen at once? Now, not all of those things worked out beautifully in the end, Selina and Shannon, I think you know what I am talking about here, but it was still probably the best weekend that I will have for a long time. Now, if we can just keep in touch with each other better, these types of weekends wouldn't have to be so few and far between and I think that we can do that. Here is what I learned this weekend: (now, I had learned these lessons before...but this weekend was one hell of a refresher course) 1. Some people are just meant to be together. 2. You can never take seeing all of your best friends for granted. It just doesn't happen enough. You knew in the back of your head a couple of years ago that there would come a time when seeing everyone would be much harder to do, but you just can't understand it until it happens. 3. You don't always get the girl...but you always know who will be there for you... 4. Staying up until 3:30 in the morning two nights in a row will require more than one day of recovery. If anyone actually reads this, please leave a comment so I know that there is actually someone reading it. It makes writing this thing a little bit more worth it.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Dave Matthews Band is AMAZING.

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge Dave Matthews fan. That's no secret. But sometimes they do things that even surprise me. As everyone knows, Rick James died on Friday morning of "natural" causes. Well, when Dave Matthews Band played on Saturday night and they decided to make a tribute to him. Between So Much To Say and Too Much, they played a little tribute to him. You can click the link below and in first post of that thread, there is a video of the tribute. I think it is pretty amazing, you can tell me what you think... http://www.anyoneseenthebridge.com/msgboard/showthread.php?threadid=332980 Here is the setlist from the last show they played. The next show they play, will be the one in Kansas City...which I have 7th row seats for. YEAH BABY!!! Dave Matthews Band August 7, 2004 Alpine Valley Music Theater East Troy, WI Set Hello Again Granny #41 The Stone Crazy Easy So Much To Say --> Super Freak* --> Too Much Bartender When The World Ends Help Myself I'll Back You Up Joy Ride Grey Street Sugar Will Ants Marching Everyday Encore: Typical Situation Warehouse * Abbreviated version, recognizing the death of Rick James

Tivo might very well be the most incredible thing ever invented...

Okay, well I have owned a Tivo machine for about 3-4 months now. I decided to buy it one day on a whim. For any of you out there who are contemplating purchasing one of these gems...let me be the first to recommend it. Now, some of you might say that I am a lazy bum and all I do is watch TV, and while that may be true, that is not why this machine is such a beautiful thing. I don't know about anyone else, but I work 8-5 M-F. There are a lot of things on during the day and in the middle of the night that I would never get to see if it weren't for Tivo. There is a little show that I love that is on in the middle of the day called Two Guys and a Girl. It used to be called Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place. This show is on twice every weekday afternoon. Now, I would never be able to watch this show, but with Tivo I can. I Tivo it every day. Now, that may not seem like a big deal to anyone, but it is to me. Also, if something changes in the channel lineup and it is on at a different time, Tivo automatically changes the recording times for you and records the show. Another thing, if you are infatuated with an actor or actress, you can search for everything that is on TV for the next two weeks that they are in. This includes talk shows or anything else on TV. What this does for me is allow me to do what I want to do and watch what I record whenever I want to. Some people say it promotes laziness...I say it promotes productivity. I used to not be able to do things on some nights because I wanted to watch a particular show on TV...but not now baby. I know this type of thing is old to some people...but to me...it's new...it's exciting...and damnit...you're gonna hear about it.

Monday, August 09, 2004

The Bachelor Party

So this weekend was my friend Jimmy's bachelor party. He's getting married in two weeks. Just another one of my friends getting married off and moving on. It's getting to the point now where there aren't many of us single folk left in our little group. I guess that is how things go though right? Well, the night was definitely memorable. Of course...with Jimmy...the night started off at the Argosy Casino. I have never won a dime at that damn casino but I went anyway...in the spirit of the night. Jimmy was losing money playing some table game so I wasted my $40 on nickel and quarter slots. That didn't last long, believe me. Once we were pardoned from the Casino we went to the ever familiar Sunset Bar in KCK. After we had filled ourself with food and alcohol, watched the Royals lose...again, and gotten the crew together we headed out to the strip club, another staple of he that is Jimmy. We went to Whispers out on K-7 down by Leavenworth. I can't say that I recommend this place to anyone who is looking for a new strip club. We showed up ther and should've heeded the warning of the heavily inebriated guy that was leaving the club. He warned us that there were only about 4 or 5 "girls" there that night...but we went in anyway. There were more like 7 or 8 girls working that night, but they weren't worth the trouble. Jimmy got into the mix quickly and was getting his first lap dance before we could even get our first drink. He claimed that this was the best lap dance he had ever had. Now...coming from Jimmy...that was quite a claim. This is the man that has been to more strip clubs than everyone I know combined. He claimed that the stripper was getting awfully upset that Jimmy wasn't becoming aroused so she actually started biting his dick through his jeans. I didn't notice this first hand, but I believe him nonetheless. After Jimmy was ridden around on stage by his favorite penis-biting stripper...we moved on to another bar in downtown KC. This was definitely the highlight of the night. By the time we found the bar...other members of the group were already there. They had made last call so we all quickly got our one drink and Jimmy proceeded to order two double bourbon and sevens that he drank within a few minutes. Once he had no alchohol left, he decided that he wanted some Jagermeister shots. Since the bartender was down at the other end of the bar settling her tabs, Jimmy took it upon himself to fill his own glass. With a little help from his friends yelling in the bar while he was filling up his drink...Jimmy proceeded to get 10-15 shots of Jaegermeister out of that machine before we left. I've never seen anything quite like it. Needless to say, Jimmy was feeling pretty good at this point, so we went on to another bar. We had to walk about two blocks to this bar so we knew it would be an eventful walk. First event...fence jumping. Jimmy decided instead of going around the fence, he would jump over it. Well, he landed on it...with his crotch...and broke the fence. Hilarious, yes, unique, no. I have seen Jimmy jump many fences in my time. Next event, Tackle the Parking Meter. Now, we all know that parking meters are pretty sturdy, seeing that they get hit by cars all the time. Well Jimmy decided to take one on, and while he gave it a valiant effort, he didn't win that war. I can't say that I have ever seen that happen before. Third Event, tackle the Parking Lot gate. Again, never seen that before, but as Jared and Patrick can contend...he didn't win that event either. I think he was less successful with that one than he was with the parking meter. The fourth and final event, Construction Barrel tackling. Now...the construction barrel was there for a reason, to block a huge hole in the ground. Well, Jimmy tackled the barrel...but they both went into the hole. Once we got him out of the hole, we moved on to the bar. This was basically the end of the evening for me. It was about 2:30 in the morning by this time. All in all, an eventful evening. I can't even imagine what the wedding is going to be like...

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